I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
