That's intense
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
