It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
