i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
