she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
