Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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