You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
