if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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