so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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