i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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