Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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