I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
