I'm drive I can fine osifer
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
