But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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