It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
