She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
