i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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