we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
