The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
