I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
