made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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