Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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