ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
