What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
