Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
