so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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