with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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