somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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