Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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