i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
