Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
