Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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