Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
