to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
