I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
