I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
