I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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