How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm just crazy horny about you
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Randomize
