He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
