In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
only you would photoshop your dick
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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