If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
