Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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