Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
