Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
