Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm passing your future prison.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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