Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
