Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
