I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
COCAINE IS GR8
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
