Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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