i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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