i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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