I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
