Buhtt sex?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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