NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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