I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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